Breeds of Dog I Hate!

Pug: At one point in dog history, someone said, “I’m tired of dogs that look and act like dogs. Let’s create a breed that looks and acts like a surprised indignant old woman. Oh, and wasn’t it a shame about King Charles…” Here’s a tip: If it cannot jump off the couch without breaking a […]

How Can I Be a Trump Supporter?

If you can consider your soy bean farm successful, thanks to Trump, despite the fact that you aren’t making any money and someone else owns it, now. You have to be able to believe that a man who attended Christian church for decades is a Muslim; and, a man who wouldn’t know a church if […]

Why Wind Power, Like What My Baby Did, is a Bad Bad Thing

If the big wind turbine companies use up all of our wind, Americans will be deprived of a basic human right: A nice breeze. If we burn fewer hydrocarbons, people will have to start taking supplements to get the carbon monoxide their bodies need. In the United States, wind tends to blow in from West […]

Give Me Liberty or Give Me Random Thoughts

I’ve got a computer virus where, if I click on a porn site, it shows me instead an image of Hugh Hefner stabbing the Virgin Mary. I’d get the virus removed but it’s kind of a turn-on… My biggest fear is that everything that can happen will finally happen, God will yell, “Bingo!” and the […]

More Hurricane Tips

If authorities tell you to evacuate, EVACUATE! No house is more important than your life, unless that house has both a hot tub and a fireman’s pole. Many religious leaders see hurricanes as a punishment for gays and gay-acceptance. If a hurricane might be headed your way, hedge your bets by asking your homosexual neighbors […]