What Can You Do with a Railroad Spike

Railroad spikes are very effective in killing robot vampires. ♠ Bend a spike into a ‘U’ if you want to staple 45000 or more sheets of paper together. Apply with a sledgehammer. ♠ Heat a railroad spike up to 2500 degrees to accomplish any task that requires a dangerously hot pointed object. ♠ If you […]

I Hate Stationary Bikes

[Idea came from a conversation with Rivergirl] When you pop a wheelie, it never ends well. ֍ Sometimes, I throw mine downstairs and yell, “Who’s stationary NOW?” ֍ In my rear-view mirror, objects are closer than they appear… which is probably why I get the feeling that the wall behind my bike is creeping up […]

A New Idea: Almanac

[Still working on the format, but it will look something like this:] On January 8th, Charles DeGaulle was named president of France’s Fifth Republic. France’s Fourth Republic had fallen behind the couch and their sixth republic was out being cleaned. DeGaulle was permitted to rule by decree until a constitution could be whipped up. He […]

I Go Dark: Benefits of Raising Children in Crates

It makes them far easier to mail. ● With kids safely in crates, you’ll be able to keep your poisons and cleaning supplies within easy reach. ● It helps them to appreciate the right to stand upright, which our forefathers died for. ● Keeping children in crates helps prepare them for careers as mimes. ● […]

How Great Thou Art O’ Random Thart

I took a survival course. They sent me a letter, telling me that I failed the class; but, I’m still alive so I must’ve gotten at least a ‘D’… ☻ I developed a cheap covid test based on the fact that your sense of taste tends to lessen when you come down with the virus: […]