This is My First Time Writing about Virginity

Virgin births happen quite often in history and lore. Anthropologists think that, in the case of most virgin births, the sex that brought about pregnancy was just very very forgettable. ♀ In the Middle Ages, virgins were used to attract unicorns. If a virgin sat still in the woods long enough, a unicorn would come […]

Thoughts on Autumn

Autumn leaves don’t fall, they fly. They take their time and wander on this their only chance to soar; then, we rake them up, stuff them into plastic bags and send them to the dump to get incinerated. ☼ Fall is the time of year when those who can afford it put themselves into medically-induced […]

Why I Want to be an Astronaut

I want to test my theory that, if I can see space from my backyard, then I can see my backyard from space. ☺ If I’m an astronaut, I think there’s a greater likelihood that they’ll take me as a contestant on Jeopardy. ☺ I want to see if I can beat a solar flare […]

Musical Instruments I Hate

[Sorry… I didn’t have anything particularly good to post and this one has been collecting dust…] Harpsichord: Listening to a harpsichord is like listening to regular music while crockery is being broken over your head. “I don’t think the organ was powerful enough for this concerto. Let’s play it, instead, on this giant wind-chime” Tuba: […]

Thrill Rides I Hate

Eco-Swing: You sit in a plastic toddler seat while a machine spins you around until your last meal goes away. It is firmly fastened to the main mechanism by a slim rusty chain that is maintained by a carny who, if he was good at anything at all, wouldn’t be a carny… These tend to […]