Why I Want to be an Astronaut

The Reluctant Astronaut Blu-ray Release Date October 9, 2018

I want to test my theory that, if I can see space from my backyard, then I can see my backyard from space.

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If I’m an astronaut, I think there’s a greater likelihood that they’ll take me as a contestant on Jeopardy.

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I want to see if I can beat a solar flare in a fair fight.

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I’ve developed at taste for dehydrated macaroni and cheese.

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If I’m weightless most of the time, the heels on my shoes won’t wear out so fast.

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They say space is the final frontier; so, if I go to space, as far as frontiers go, I’ll be DONE.

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Living in a contained space unable to go out has been the past eight months of my life.

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If they let me drive, maybe I can veer into the Fox News satellite.

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If I’m in space and the Earth explodes, it will be up to me to repopulate the human race… so I hope there’s a female astronaut aboard. I guess if we fail to conceive, we can always adopt…

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