A Random Thought Cannot be Bought

I was in a bar once and in walked a priest, a rabbi and a minister. I looked them over for a second and then exclaimed, “NOW I get it!” Are hot pants, short shorts and “Daisy Dukes” the same thing? If they aren’t, I owe my Senator a letter of apology. I asked her […]

Table Scraps

Dream it, wish it, do it, apologize profusely… What you lack in talent can be made up with desire, hustle and giving 110 percent all the time. Because a man attacking a problem he cannot handle or even comprehend, with all of his might, is hysterical. You are never too old to set another goal […]

Ort!

How is it that “spook” and “fry” don’t sound at all alike but are spelled completely differently? Why is it that the same people that quote biblical scripture are some of the same people who have functioning kidneys and lungs? I tried my hardest to get the trophy for “Laziest” but that disqualified me. They […]

Temere Cogitationes (Random Thoughts)

I’ll bet, if you are one of a set of identical twins, you get very tired of people asking, “Do you know who you REALLY remind me of?”… In my opinion, any confession gained under the influence of Wonder Woman’s lasso of truth would be considered coercion by most European and American courts. That’s why […]

Bits of Pieces of Bits

My body hasn’t been the same since the first time my wife got pregnant…mostly due to that botched vasectomy I performed on myself to ensure it never ever happened again. Insanity runs in my family… mostly it runs from invisible tigers… No man is an island… it’s just that some men are very shore of […]