I was in a bar once and in walked a priest, a rabbi and a minister. I looked them over for a second and then exclaimed, “NOW I get it!”
Are hot pants, short shorts and “Daisy Dukes” the same thing? If they aren’t, I owe my Senator a letter of apology.
I asked her if she loved me and she said she loved me as one might love an ear-infection… which really didn’t answer my question…
I learned the hard way that there is more to faking your own death than not showing up for work and having your mail stopped.
I think that there should be a law in Oklahoma that your house belongs to you regardless of where the tornado drops it.
The tighter you hold onto love, the more likely it is to slip away; so, hold it over the sink.
Slavery is just God’s way of keeping the average income down.
Everyone likes sausage… but no one wants to see it being digested.
I wanted to break it off with my girlfriend because she was too much of a perfectionist; so, I challenged her to a game of Hide-and-Seek. I was “it”, she hid and I haven’t seen her since…
Kindness is overrated; but, the person who rated it too highly was probably just being kind, so it’s okay…