Table Scraps

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Dream it, wish it, do it, apologize profusely…

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What you lack in talent can be made up with desire, hustle and giving 110 percent all the time. Because a man attacking a problem he cannot handle or even comprehend, with all of his might, is hysterical.

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You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream. You will however be too old to remember what goals you set or what dreams you dreamed.

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Sometimes, I let a movie run while I’m out of the room because I think the television gets self-conscious being watched all the time…

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Watch” is pretty passive for an active verb. So, I find the term “binge watching” as a sign we are not doing well as a species.

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I’m a man of contrasts; also, I’m not a man of contrasts.

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Before you kiss your dog on the mouth, ask yourself, “Do I live near a cow pasture?”

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There is no shame in being humiliated… so put on these handcuffs and bark for me…

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My English teacher told me that I didn’t use my colon in the right way; but, outside of digesting food, it is ill-equipped to do much else.

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I always get discouraged when people I admire turn to drugs; because, then I feel I have to do the same drugs that they do.

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My brother once thought that he was a horse.  I took him to a psychiatrist who cured him in an hour.  The only problem was, we had to take a taxi home…

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Feeling bored, I bought a gorilla and a cattle prod.

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14 thoughts on “Table Scraps

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