Fire Safety Tips

Check your smoke detectors. If they don’t go off when you are making pancakes, they probably need new batteries. Not only should you determine the fastest way out of your house in case of a fire, you should also have an effective way back in, in case the fire follows you outside and tries to […]

Breeds of Dog I Hate!

Pug: At one point in dog history, someone said, “I’m tired of dogs that look and act like dogs. Let’s create a breed that looks and acts like a surprised indignant old woman. Oh, and wasn’t it a shame about King Charles…” Here’s a tip: If it cannot jump off the couch without breaking a […]

Why Did My Dog Run Away?

[Thanks to Deb Whittam for the idea. I invite my readers to riff on this on because I think I barely scratched the surface. As usual, if you post something especially witty, it will be cheerfully plagerized] Why did my dog run away? Maybe because… He was imaginary and the meds are FINALLY WORKING. I […]

Ask a Super-Intelligent Bio-Engineered Dog Part 2

Q. My boyfriend and I have been living in a pretty harmonious relationship until recently. Lately, he seems upset, volatile, angry for no good reason and frankly, it is driving me and my new pet alligator up the wall. A. It seems that your boyfriend has all of the symptoms of sudden-onset Post Traumatic […]

So, You’ve Found Out Your Boyfriend is Gay…

[Thanks to chattykerry for inadvertently giving me the idea] Remember, there is no shame in your boyfriend being gay. There is, however, plenty of shame in your not knowing your boyfriend is gay. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that you were such a bad girlfriend that your boyfriend turned, romantically, on all women. Homosexuality […]