So, You’ve Found Out Your Boyfriend is Gay…

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[Thanks to chattykerry for inadvertently giving me the idea]

Remember, there is no shame in your boyfriend being gay. There is, however, plenty of shame in your not knowing your boyfriend is gay.

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Don’t make the mistake of thinking that you were such a bad girlfriend that your boyfriend turned, romantically, on all women. Homosexuality is mostly established genetically. All you can say for certain is that you were such a bad girlfriend that you awakened that part of your boyfriend that craved men…

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Try to console yourself with the fact that there are plenty of fat, hairy, poorly-dressed heterosexual men who would be thrilled to disappoint you in totally different ways.

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Next time, look for the little clues… like when your best friend asked you, “Why are you dating a homosexual?”

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If you find someone who cherishes you as a person, listens to what you say and likes the same movies you do, he may not be gay, but he’s probably studying for the written exam…

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Surgically changing your own gender WILL NOT GET HIM BACK!

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History is full of homosexual men marrying heterosexual women. And, because history is full, the next time it happens, we’ll have to put it somewhere else… say, Sociology…

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Do not feel bad that a man who’s had almost no experience with women, became romantically involved with you and, on the basis of that experience alone, decided against your entire gender…

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Come to the realization that it is best to come down to Earth and get “catfished” on line by a Guanan pretending to be an army office, like a normal heterosexual woman.

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After your relationship with your gay boyfriend has ended, take some time to reflect on what other unobtainable men are out there. You could be romantically involved with a priest… a terminally ill cancer patient or even a department store manikin. The important thing is success and how to avoid it…

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[If you like this one, try I Want You Back!]

21 thoughts on “So, You’ve Found Out Your Boyfriend is Gay…

    1. Actually, that’s a true story. We kept hearing about a friend’s new boyfriend and we finally met him at a Renaissance festival. We all talked and laughed and planned what we were going to do. When everyone separated, my ex said, “Why is Janet dating a gay guy?”

      He came out to her two weeks later.

      Liked by 3 people

  1. I am so proud to have provoked this post. At least I know they are all gay. There is something about being unobtainable that is alluring. Since I have already seduced a celibate missionary (it is somewhere on the depths of my site), I think I might try to be cat-fished. To be honest, I think there might be cat-fishers among my followers. You mentioned you were a native American – from Honduras???

    Liked by 1 person

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