[Thanks to chattykerry for inadvertently giving me the idea]
Remember, there is no shame in your boyfriend being gay. There is, however, plenty of shame in your not knowing your boyfriend is gay.
Don’t make the mistake of thinking that you were such a bad girlfriend that your boyfriend turned, romantically, on all women. Homosexuality is mostly established genetically. All you can say for certain is that you were such a bad girlfriend that you awakened that part of your boyfriend that craved men…
Try to console yourself with the fact that there are plenty of fat, hairy, poorly-dressed heterosexual men who would be thrilled to disappoint you in totally different ways.
Next time, look for the little clues… like when your best friend asked you, “Why are you dating a homosexual?”
If you find someone who cherishes you as a person, listens to what you say and likes the same movies you do, he may not be gay, but he’s probably studying for the written exam…
Surgically changing your own gender WILL NOT GET HIM BACK!
History is full of homosexual men marrying heterosexual women. And, because history is full, the next time it happens, we’ll have to put it somewhere else… say, Sociology…
Do not feel bad that a man who’s had almost no experience with women, became romantically involved with you and, on the basis of that experience alone, decided against your entire gender…
Come to the realization that it is best to come down to Earth and get “catfished” on line by a Guanan pretending to be an army office, like a normal heterosexual woman.
After your relationship with your gay boyfriend has ended, take some time to reflect on what other unobtainable men are out there. You could be romantically involved with a priest… a terminally ill cancer patient or even a department store manikin. The important thing is success and how to avoid it…
[If you like this one, try I Want You Back!]
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
Great list – I really liked the first two and this one “Next time, look for the little clues… like when your best friend asked you, “Why are you dating a homosexual?”” 🙂
LikeLiked by 2 people
Actually, that’s a true story. We kept hearing about a friend’s new boyfriend and we finally met him at a Renaissance festival. We all talked and laughed and planned what we were going to do. When everyone separated, my ex said, “Why is Janet dating a gay guy?”
He came out to her two weeks later.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Oh wow, that’s funny!
LikeLiked by 1 person
You forgot prisoners .. great marriage material. They can’t cheat on you , not with another woman anyway..
LikeLiked by 3 people
Especially those on death row…
LikeLiked by 2 people
I’m only seeing upside..
LikeLiked by 2 people
You love to cruise that fine line, don’t you? How about the reasons your dog ran away????
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sounds like a good topic, Deb. Let me see what I can get out of it.
Yeah, the line cannot get too fine for me. Plus, I knew someone who was in this exact situation…
LikeLiked by 1 person
A friend of mine is married and they live with her girlfriend 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I smell a sit-com idea!
LikeLike
sociology line was brilliant!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks. I try to include one play on words in each list…
LikeLiked by 1 person
You have a gift..the lists are consistent in terms of quality.
LikeLiked by 1 person
[blush]
LikeLiked by 1 person
I am so proud to have provoked this post. At least I know they are all gay. There is something about being unobtainable that is alluring. Since I have already seduced a celibate missionary (it is somewhere on the depths of my site), I think I might try to be cat-fished. To be honest, I think there might be cat-fishers among my followers. You mentioned you were a native American – from Honduras???
LikeLiked by 1 person
No… just a Native American born on a naval base in Florida.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That sounds like a John McCain story – are you sure it was actually IN Florida, not in Panama or HONDURAS? I was born in a convent hospital in San Francisco.
LikeLiked by 1 person
A convent hospital in San Francisco is a lot more interesting. But, I WAS three pounds at birth. That’s got to count for something…
LikeLiked by 1 person
I was 4 lbs and had a club foot, if we are competing in the pathetic baby event. Maybe our brains didn’t develop properly…
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m in a top-this-story competition with a Texan… WHAT WAS I THINKING???
LikeLiked by 1 person
Precisely.
LikeLiked by 1 person