Random Thoughts Part 2

If I were invisible, the first thing I would try to do is find a cure for cancer. Even the lowliest sparrow deserves at least ONE weekend in Las Vegas. There is no time like the present except for the recent past. I think that rabies is just an attempt by nature to create meringue […]

I Have Writer’s Block!!!

I’ve got writer’s block and it isn’t fair. Do surgeons get surgeon’s block? I know I don’t look out my window and see dozens of un-emptied garbage cans because the garbage man suddenly contracted garbage-block. Why is writing special? Why do we lay in bed knowing we have the perfect plot-twist or turn of phrase […]

Some Calendars of Note…

Coptic Calendar: This is a liturgical calendar; in fact, when people first see it, they usually say something like “Damn but that’s liturgical!” or “I thought the Ethiopian calendar was liturgical but, compared to this one, it’s downright pre-Columbian”. The Coptic Calendar might seem pretty cool, but it is just the old Egyptian calendar with […]

Astronomical Events that are Duds

Supermoon: A full moon that is one seventh bigger. If you are the kind of a person that keeps REALLY good track of how big the moon it, surprise! It is fourteen percent larger. Fun fact: One seventh, rounded to the nearest integer is ZERO!!! Comet: First, the hype: “It will be spectacular! Maybe even […]

New Year’s Resolutions

I resolve to finish training my prototype of the first seeing-eye cheetah, thereby giving the blind the ability to drive on most U.S. highways; moreover, I will try to breed out the DNA segment that makes the animal dangerously cheesy… I resolve not to try to explode the heads of my fellow subway riders through […]