Q and A

everyone-seems-normal-until-you-get-to-know-them

  1. What is your greatest fear? Dealing in superlatives.
  2. What is your first memory? Some guy in a dark suit with a ball-point pen in his hand telling me to forget everything I just saw.
  3. What was your happiest memory? Going into the house of an old woman who had five dozen puppies of all breeds running around, barking happily.
  4. What is your saddest memory? Cleaning up all of those dead puppies after the same old lady died in her bathtub and the animals slowly starved… except the ones who turned to cannibalism… but they were never quite the same again after that.
  5. What is your favorite type of book? Fantasy spy-novel with dinosaurs.
  6. What was your first kiss like? Pretty much like all the others except for the struggling and muffled screams.
  7. If you were stranded on a desert island, what book, dvd and cd would you want to take with you? Book: How to Build a Raft. CD: Katy Perry’s I Want to Build a Raft. DVD: Any movie with George Raft in it…
  8. What was your favorite television show as a child? The Dean Martin Show. I’ve based my life around the performances of Paul Lynde, Bob Newhart and Foster Brooks. I also liked The Munsters because the man in the black suit with the ball-point pen kind of looked like Fred Gwynne.
  9. What was your favorite pet? Well, I kept a wren in a box until it was nothing but bones and feathers. Do action figures count as pets? If they do, I still have to go with the wren as my favorite with GI Joe as second favorite.
  10. What do you find most rewarding about your job? Mistakes cannot be traced back to me. I get paid in money instead of bushels of fruit, so I spend a lot less time at my stand by the on-ramp…

 

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