Responses to “I Want to See Your Manager”

“Okay, but he is deaf in one ear and has superhuman hearing in the other, so if you yell, it will make him run in circles” “We have no manager… just a council of the elders that meets every full moon” “Our manager has been dead for twenty years. You can only talk to him […]

I Go Catty: Some Theories on Melania Trump

She is a ventriloquist and must always be within arm’s length of the hole in Trump’s back. She is a sex-doll brought to life by a fairy. She will become a real girl after she performs a selfless grand task. We’ll keep you posted. Melania Trump speaks no English and precious little Russian. She ended […]

More Rules to Live by

The more arrogant the speaker, the more punchable the face. Two can live as cheaply as one and three quarters. Time really flies when you are about to be executed. It’s an ill wind that blows nobody any good; it’s an iller wind that blows your trash cans into your koi pond. You can catch […]

Why I Think I Should Live in a Castle

A castle wouldn’t compensate for my feelings of inadequacy; but, it would compensate for my ACTUAL inadequacy. Without parapets, I’d have to shoot arrows out of my bedroom window like a stinking Hun. A dungeon doesn’t need to be USED as a dungeon. They make great laundry rooms. But, it is nice to know I’d […]

I Go Dark: Rioting Tips

The first rule of rioting is, make sure there are a lot of people around you who are also rioting. If it is just you, you aren’t really rioting… just acting like a nut. Dress appropriately: If the riot is about the military firing on civilians, avoid attending the riot in your dress blues. Wear […]