A castle wouldn’t compensate for my feelings of inadequacy; but, it would compensate for my ACTUAL inadequacy.
Without parapets, I’d have to shoot arrows out of my bedroom window like a stinking Hun.
A dungeon doesn’t need to be USED as a dungeon. They make great laundry rooms. But, it is nice to know I’d be prepared should the need to confine someone arise.
People who lived in castles ate dinner at long tables with no utensils and threw their bones onto the floor. I DO THAT TOO!
I could put a mural up in my Great Hall of my victory over that Chinese restaurant that kept forgetting the rice in my order.
I’m not saying that a moat would solve all of my problems… just those that could be fixed with a drowning.
A castle would strike fear into the hearts of my neighbors, especially that guy who mows his lawn at seven in the morning.
I want to be lord of a fiefdom someday and living in a castle seems like it might be good practice for that.
I often get the vague feeling that someone is about to lay siege to me.
I figure six feet of rock and soil would keep me from having to listen to my neighbor’s bass guitar. If it doesn’t, then this might be one of those situations in which a moat might come in handy…
A catapult would be just the thing if I don’t get my garbage can out front early enough. One fling and it’s the problem of five or six of my distant neighbors and that Chinese restaurant I mentioned.
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
You just want the pet dragon 🍺
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Damn! That would’ve been a good one…
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Damn, it is a good one 😛
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Garbage catapult! Best. Idea. Ever.
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Well, it does beat getting up early…
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And could be used to remove dinner guests who stay too late as well.
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I think the guest room doubling as a working torture chamber handles that…
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I’d certainly want my castle to have a moat with a drawbridge that is always raised. Try and visit me now you fuckers!!!
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A fellow shut-in!
“There’s a reason I’m not answering your texts and sending a volley of arrows at your car”
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I’m starting to realize that a lot of life’s problems could be solved with a moat (and a dungeon if plan A doesn’t work 😉 )
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Deb suggested a dragon, which would solve even more problems. In fact, if I had a fire-breathing dragon in my castle, the only problem I’d have is the fire-breathing dragon in my castle…
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Those 7am lawnmowers are the worst. Getting a castle sounds like the right way to deal with said neighbor.
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Very captivative header😄…not a bad idea though.
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Thank you.
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Oh, and wings! When in-laws or other guests come to visit, there is PLENTY of personal space. So many positives to owning a castle!
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The only drawbacks are the hauntings…
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