How to Tell if You are in the Depths of Depression and Despair

[Sorry friends. Massive attack of depression. All right now] Your energy level won’t power a potato clock. You find yourself turning more and more to “comfort foods”, which, in my case, is baby formula blended with three Milky Way bars. You find yourself reevaluating your life-choices; like your decision to sit in your recliner for […]

Insul-pliments

I’m not saying that you suck. I’m just saying that, if I had to make a list of people who didn’t suck, you wouldn’t be on it… She’s a handsome woman with a great personality. He’s a quiet unassuming man who doesn’t look very much like a pedophile. He’s a man who goes through a […]

Why I Hate Wheaties

Wheaties uses athletes to sell itself because every dietician recommends athletes get more wheat in their diet… “Wheaties” is the laziest cereal name in the history of cereal and in the history of names. It’s as if the boss came in, told them to come up with a great name for a wheat cereal, and […]

Don “Beat Generation” Trump: Covid #19

“Boiling water kills Covid 19. Maybe there’s a way we can ingest boiling water or maybe just boil the entire body, could you look into that?…I understand that there aren’t enough tests for the virus so I’m recommending that we take different tests… like SATs or LSATs and scratch out the titles and replace them […]

I Spot You Some Fun Facts about Macbeth

Lady Macbeth’s real name was Gruoch… an ugly name to be sure, but is it any uglier than “Edith”? After Macbeth died, he was succeeded by his step son, Lulach the Idiot: A name that inspired confidence in everyone who opposed him. It is considered bad luck to say “Macbeth” in a theater… performers call […]