Don “Beat Generation” Trump: Covid #19

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“Boiling water kills Covid 19. Maybe there’s a way we can ingest boiling water or maybe just boil the entire body, could you look into that?…I understand that there aren’t enough tests for the virus so I’m recommending that we take different tests… like SATs or LSATs and scratch out the titles and replace them with “Covid 19 Test”…I am advocating that people stay home unless they are out protesting that they have to be staying home because the Bill of Rights is clear on the subject of spreading disease… Typhoid Mary was a patriot… I will be moving reporters who are from the fake media that only report Beatnik Trump (@BeatnikTrump) | Twitterwhat I say and replacing them with right-wing reporters who report what I MEANT to say. Those are the real heroes…I will let stand the firing of Naval Capt. Brett Crozier and replace him with a dog-breeder from Alabama. I’ll also be replacing most of his crew with dog-breeders because they are also the real heroes…We can see a light at the end of the tunnel and that light will be injected into our veins and it will kill Covid 19 quickly…I think we’ll be able to open up the whole country tomorrow afternoon if some sort of miracle occurs and we all hope that it will…Certainly shelter at home is working but it is not working on the most important part of this country: The stock market. We’ll need to sacrifice most of our old people, with the exception of myself and some of my friends, to save the brave little stock market. I have ordered my Head of the Federal Reserve to inject the stock market with disinfectant or give it malaria medication depending upon my investment portfolio…And, hydroxychloroquine has been shown to cure Covid 19 one HUNDRED PERCENT of the time. These impressive results happen in ten percent of studies which means it cures Covid 19 ONE THOUSAND PERCENT OF THE TIME…When medical people talk to me they say, “Wow! You have a lot of knowledge” and I shrug and say, “yeah” and, then they laugh for some reason and I have to fire them and replace them with dog breeders…. And, don’t worry… we will defeat this virus just as surely as we will shoot down Iranian boats…. And, as I said in February, the virus is contained: It will never leave the United States. We’ve trapped it and, after it runs out of Americans to kill, it will die because of the border wall…I call it the Wuhan virus… actually I call it “Crazy Nancy” because reasons… I must golf, now…”

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24 thoughts on “Don “Beat Generation” Trump: Covid #19

  1. I remember after some weird rambling speech he gave a year ago (I know there’s been so many) I did consider turning it into a poem. I thought maybe he’s trying to be a poet and we’re not recognising it… Obviously you had the same thought….

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I dunno. I might steal this whole thing and paste it on my FB timeline. I’ll give you credit, tho. I never want to appear brilliant stealing someone else’s thoughts. It’s like appearing on stage after the show is over and taking bows.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m an American Indian. Two things can happen to your voice if you are a Native American: One, it just gets deeper and more pleasant; two, it gets reedy like someone talking from the grave. I am the latter.

      In my early days, though, I did a killer Kermit the Frog and Ernie impersonation.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yeah, but my dad had a GREAT voice. Low, interesting… with a bit of an Oklahoma drawl to it…

        Well, at least I’m taller…

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  3. On the one hand, I’m kind of mad that I read this in his voice. …Because that meant I had to be subjected to it again.

    But on the other hand, this is a good imitation. A nice snapshot of actual idiocy he’s displayed sprinkled in with some possibilities of what he may say in the future.

    Liked by 1 person

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