Quotes on Love Fixed by Me

Love is like the wind, you can’t see it but you can feel it. Also, you might wake up one day and find that half of everything you own is gone because of it. Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. It’s even better to have loved and […]

Rough Moth Stand

I keep a crash test dummy in the front passenger seat… mostly so I can drive in the HOV lanes. I get to work a LOT faster and it doesn’t care how recklessly I drive. They say that celery has “negative calories”, meaning that you expend more calories chewing and digesting it than it adds […]

Why I Lost My Own Power of Attorney

In my will, I made Frankenberry my sole beneficiary. I bought two lots at Landfill View Estates. I have a member of the Nigerian royal family sleeping on my couch until the banks open on Monday. I had cosmetic surgery done to my penis to make it look more like John Malkovich. I convinced my […]

Still More Medical Advice From a Terse Llama

Dear Terse Llama, I was drunk at a pancake restaurant, last night; and, this morning, I woke up with the mother of all headaches. Also, I noticed a sticky viscous substance that seemed to be coming from my ears and was matted in my hair. I cannot go to the emergency room because of what […]

Excerpt From Book, Two

People LOVE animals. Whether it is ogling them in cages or just hunting them for sport. We even have animals that we love enough to feed, keep in our homes and castrate. We study them right down to their DNA because they teach us things about ourselves; we also use some of them to make […]