Why I Lost My Own Power of Attorney

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In my will, I made Frankenberry my sole beneficiary.

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I bought two lots at Landfill View Estates.

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I have a member of the Nigerian royal family sleeping on my couch until the banks open on Monday.

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I had cosmetic surgery done to my penis to make it look more like John Malkovich.

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I convinced my boss to pay me in saltines.

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I buy expired lottery tickets then wait for the value to go up before I resell them.

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The woman next to me on the bus mentioned that she loved John Malkovich; so…

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I replaced all my fire extinguishers with Slip-and-Slides.

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I go to the cooking college next door for my blow-fish sushi.

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I deep-fry my socks on cold winter mornings.

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I use my pin number as my nickname so I don’t forget it.

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I made a track suit out of sanitary napkins and disposable diapers so, when it rains, I REALLY get a workout.

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Due to a typographical error, I got a risqué dog from the pound.  He’s just as good as a rescue dog and his penis looks like John Malkovich.

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I fed my pet bacteria antibiotics, then went to the nearest police station and confessed.

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15 thoughts on “Why I Lost My Own Power of Attorney

  1. Did your psycho ex-wife obtain power of attorney over you? That’s the ultimate insult. Good luck convincing people you’re NOT insane. How do you prove a negative? Challenge them to a chess game? Or show them how much better your penis looks?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Actually, my father gave my mom power of attorney because he was over in Vietnam. He left it the way it was which came in handy when Dementia kicked in.

      As for the penis thing, I’ll keep it in mind at my competency hearing…

      Liked by 1 person

      1. People ask me that all the time, especially when I was younger… because I have a great love for the old movies, music and television.

        I’m fifty-nine.

        Like

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