Things I Love about The Godfather

It explains why Frank Sinatra was allowed to make feature movies way better than my theory about the Lizard People… It keeps Diane Keaton to a minimum, which is something Woody Allen could never accomplish. For those of us who wondered, it showed that Marlon Brando could be killed with ordinary household bug spray. […]

Trees I Hate

Long Needle Pine: Long needle pines provide no shade and their wood oozes a bad smelling glue; plus, I don’t trust a tree without lower branches. If I get a kite or model rocket stuck fifty feet above the earth, a mature long needle pine has so few branches that it is almost impossible […]

In Praise of Racism

There has been a lot of talk about racism lately. A lot of people think that racists have become emboldened to the point where they literally attack anyone who crosses them or uses the word “embolden”. And, it does seem to be difficult to find a racist spokesperson that you DON’T want to punch in […]

Signs Your Husband Might be Cheating on You

He calls out your maiden name during sex. He ends most phone calls with, “I’ll call you back when my wife can’t hear me discussing having sex with you” Your husband is suddenly cold to you and you haven’t done anything horrible to him lately. Your husband appends, “I swear to God” at the end […]

Random Thoughts from a Blue Planet

There’s a time to talk to your son about masturbation; but, apparently, it ISN’T during Thanksgiving dinner in front of his kids. I was studying non-abelian groups, last night. The reason I study non-abelian groups is so that I can start conversations with “I was studying non-abelian groups, last night”. I got the idea one […]