Avoid peak travel times. For example, if you normally travel the day before Thanksgiving, choose a less busy time, like the middle of October. If you have gifts you simply must bring, mail them instead and you save a lot of trouble; in fact, while the box is open, just jump in and save the […]Read More Holiday Travel Tips
I resolve to go to work each and every day with the knowledge that Friday is no more than five days away at any time. I promise to share my issues with loved ones so that they’ll always know how I am feeling and so they will leave me mostly alone… I promise to watch […]Read More 2018 New Years Resolutions
In 1863, during the Civil War, President Abraham Lincoln officially made Thanksgiving a national holiday. Celebrants could be thankful for their food, family and the fact that they hadn’t been killed by gangrene or mortar shells, yet. Lincoln wouldn’t let the Confederacy have Thanksgiving until they stopped being thankful for slaves and, to a […]Read More Fun Facts About Thanksgiving!
I resolve to finish training my prototype of the first seeing-eye cheetah, thereby giving the blind the ability to drive on most U.S. highways; moreover, I will try to breed out the DNA segment that makes the animal dangerously cheesy… I resolve not to try to explode the heads of my fellow subway riders through […]Read More New Year’s Resolutions
Die Hard: An epic action movie about an international terrorist prick who plays a deadly game of cat and mouse with an American prick in the form of Bruce Willis. You’ve seen it a million times and it serves well during those periods of awkward silence after your wife’s cousin has finished talking about his […]Read More What to have on Television at Holiday Dinner with In-Laws
Dasher: Despite his name, Dasher is not the fastest of Santa’s team… nor is he the strongest. He was a Marine in the Pacific theater of WWII. Hired after he pulled St Nick into a foxhole during an ill-advised Christmas visit to Guadalcanal; and, Santa Claus feels that he “owes him”. Other reindeer think of […]Read More The Reindeer at a Glance
Habitat Against Humanity: Average people get together to build crack-houses, black-ops prison camps and crooked retirement homes for those who are obviously less fortunate. Salvation Coast Guard: Pretty much the same as the Salvation Army except can only operate a dozen or so miles offshore. Please… give until we board and search your boat… March […]Read More Evil Charities that Piggyback on Other Charities