“Halloween” is short for “All Hallow’s Eve”. “All Hallow’s Eve” is short for “Frank and Doris Covington Smythe Proudly Present All Hallow’s Eve”…
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Every year, candy companies sell around six hundred million pounds of candy for Halloween. That number doubles if you include the candy that people buy for Halloween two weeks before but eat in the car on the way home from the store.
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On Halloween, people dressed as ghosts and goblins to frighten evil spirits. How do I explain the women who dress in the slutty nurse costumes? Well, some women have so little self esteem that they expose their bodies just to be the center of attention. GOD BLESS THESE WOMEN!
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The celebration of Halloween dates back to the Celtic festival of Samhain, when the dead were supposed to walk the Earth; so, the living wore scary costumes and lit bonfires. And, it worked! The next day, all the dead were GONE. Thank you, Ivermectin!
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The Guiness record for most Jack-o-lanterns on display is thirty thousand five hundred and eighty-one at the pumpkin festival in the town of Keene, New Hampshire. On that same day, they managed to attain a second record, “Most Embarrassing Three-Alarm Fire”…
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It wasn’t until the 1950’s that Halloween candy was marketed. Before that there was no “fun size” so eating a candy bar was a dreary experience indeed.
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Despite the title, in the song “The Monster Mash” no monsters ever actually get mashed.
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Part of the custom of going door-to-door for Halloween was the practice in the Middle Ages of children going door-to-door and praying for people’s deceased relatives in exchange for food… which is odd… if the children’s prayers were so powerful, why didn’t they simply pray for food and then they wouldn’t have had to wander out at night… unless their parents were praying for a little peace and quiet in the house?
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Among the vegetables used by the Irish as Jack-o-lanterns on Frank and Doris Covington Smythe Proudly Present All Hallow’s Eve were potatoes and beets. It seems silly to cave a Jack-o-lantern out of a beet; but, it is WAY better than having to eat one.
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Halloween is one of the last events in our country where neighbors get outside together at night, watch their kids play with one another and coexist in peace and contentment until it is time for the kids to go to bed and for the parents to check their candy for needles, heroin and razor blades…
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
Magnificent Charles, you’ve made Halloween what it should be … a bloody joke 😁
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Bloody jokes are what I do best!
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I know, you’re like a Bloody Mary, but humorous 🙂
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And, I don’t have a stalk of celery sticking out of me…
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You’ve given me a great way to save money this year. Instead of candy, I’ll just pray for the children. They’ll love that.
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They may not love it but they’ll like it a lot more than getting carrot sticks…
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Last year I bought huge bag of candy and no one knocked on my door. Though I was listening to loud music on my headphones while eating candy…
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Sounds like a coincidence to me, Joanne!
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For a high school history class many moons ago, I did a major report on the Great Keene Fire!
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I blame Mrs. O’Leary’s cow…
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I second your comment on the beets, and being half Irish and force fed boiled potatoes when young, I fully support the torture of potatoes by carving.
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Torture them for the venial sin of blandness!
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And for selling out to the French.
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Halloween? BAH HUMBUG!
(Just getting in practice for Christmas.)
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I think Humbug! would be a great monster movie… a giant bug that eats people. Before it attacks, you hear, “Hmm hmm hmm hmmmmm!”. When they finally bring it down, with its last breath, it will confess that it only hummed because it didn’t know the lyrics…
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The heroin isn’t for the kids! I was just trying to give mom and dad a little treat of their own! Sheesh.
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That famous poisoning here in the USA was accidental…
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Of course it was… aren’t ALL of them?
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Wellll… the Tylenol poisoning was cover for someone killing their spouse…
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Haven’t you ever accidentally poisoned anyone? What life are you living?
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Apparently, a cautious one…
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Maybe I should look into this caution thing… Hmm…
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