Thoughts on Cooking

When a chef burns something the term for that is “caramelization”. They say you can substitute a quarter cup of applesauce for an egg when cooking; but, I’ve found it makes a pretty uninspiring omelet. Cut tough meat across the grain. You’ll know which way the grain goes because it will always be the direction […]

Books By Successful Authors that Failed Utterly

The Da Vinci Cod by Dan Brown: Symbologist Robert Langdon scours the western world for a fish whose face looks like the Mona Lisa. The fish supposedly grants wishes. A shadowy albino character also seeks the elusive magic fish… with the intent to KEEP WISHING FOR MORE WISHES. The climax of the book was so […]

Let Me Allay Your Fears…

You shouldn’t worry about dying young because, frankly, you AREN’T that young anymore. You are NOT being followed. They know your schedule so well, they are already waiting for you at your destination. You think that your frustrating day at work is a symptom of failing memory due to age; but, nothing could be further […]

Random Thoughts: The Home Game

A man cannot serve two masters; however, with a little instruction, he can serve a tennis ball. If you need a sure-fire way to alienate a room full of people, might I recommend heckling a eulogy? A wonderful name for a doctor who treats impotency would be “Grant Wood”. A little known fact about Formula […]

Best Names/Worst Names

Cars: For a car name to be good, it has to be an animal’s name. For a car name to be great, it needs to be a vicious animal. To be the best name, it HAS to be two vicious animals. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Stutz’s “Bearcat”. It’ll definitely do until someone produces […]