Random Thoughts: The Home Game

Image result for cosmos

A man cannot serve two masters; however, with a little instruction, he can serve a tennis ball.

Related image

If you need a sure-fire way to alienate a room full of people, might I recommend heckling a eulogy?

Related image

A wonderful name for a doctor who treats impotency would be “Grant Wood”.

Related image

A little known fact about Formula 409: Formula 388, when ingested, caused normal people to split into their good and evil halves; moreover, each personality-half was clean, disinfected and had a delightful lemon scent…

Related image

Being buried alive must be horrible: The feeling of being completely alone and under great stress with no one hearing you no matter how loudly you scream. It’s a lot like being the father of teenage boys.

Related image

If someone has you helplessly tied up and says, “When I’m done with you, you’ll pray for death”, you should probably pray for death right then and maybe he will be satisfied and go away…

Related image

Great actors have their peaks and valleys in every role; but, really bad actors are uniformly bad throughout the movie or play. They shouldn’t be hated for their inadequacy but admired for their consistency.

Related image

When a historian has used up all of history, he is in a very bad place: He not only has to wait for something new to happen, but then, he has to wait a while before he can write about it; otherwise, he’d just be a stinking journalist…

Related image

Vampirism and lycanthropy are NOT real diseases; so, if they ask why you are calling in sick, just tell them you have the flu.

Related image

No matter how hard I try, I cannot convince ANYONE that Harry Truman was our girliest president…

Related image

It’s too bad that antimony is a chemical element because it would be a great synonym for “divorce”.

Related image


9 thoughts on “Random Thoughts: The Home Game

    1. Whatever topic that comes by. A lot of science and history. All meant to be humorous… Go to the main page and click on the blogs for the short stuff. The longer essays are at the bottom.

      I’d appreciate any comments you have on them. Sometimes it is hard to be objective…

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Actually, now that you mention it, I wrote a fake query letter about a fetish novel called “Pony Girl Out for Trouble”. Oddly enough, of all my writings, that’s the one that gets randomly hit by search apps like google. So, apparently, there are people looking for the words “pony girl” and “amputee”.

        I don’t think my piece is what they were looking for…


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s