Random Thoughts: The Home Game

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A man cannot serve two masters; however, with a little instruction, he can serve a tennis ball.

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If you need a sure-fire way to alienate a room full of people, might I recommend heckling a eulogy?

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A wonderful name for a doctor who treats impotency would be “Grant Wood”.

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A little known fact about Formula 409: Formula 388, when ingested, caused normal people to split into their good and evil halves; moreover, each personality-half was clean, disinfected and had a delightful lemon scent…

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Being buried alive must be horrible: The feeling of being completely alone and under great stress with no one hearing you no matter how loudly you scream. It’s a lot like being the father of teenage boys.

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If someone has you helplessly tied up and says, “When I’m done with you, you’ll pray for death”, you should probably pray for death right then and maybe he will be satisfied and go away…

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Great actors have their peaks and valleys in every role; but, really bad actors are uniformly bad throughout the movie or play. They shouldn’t be hated for their inadequacy but admired for their consistency.

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When a historian has used up all of history, he is in a very bad place: He not only has to wait for something new to happen, but then, he has to wait a while before he can write about it; otherwise, he’d just be a stinking journalist…

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Vampirism and lycanthropy are NOT real diseases; so, if they ask why you are calling in sick, just tell them you have the flu.

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No matter how hard I try, I cannot convince ANYONE that Harry Truman was our girliest president…

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It’s too bad that antimony is a chemical element because it would be a great synonym for “divorce”.

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9 thoughts on “Random Thoughts: The Home Game

    1. Whatever topic that comes by. A lot of science and history. All meant to be humorous… Go to the main page and click on the blogs for the short stuff. The longer essays are at the bottom.

      I’d appreciate any comments you have on them. Sometimes it is hard to be objective…

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Actually, now that you mention it, I wrote a fake query letter about a fetish novel called “Pony Girl Out for Trouble”. Oddly enough, of all my writings, that’s the one that gets randomly hit by search apps like google. So, apparently, there are people looking for the words “pony girl” and “amputee”.

        I don’t think my piece is what they were looking for…

        Like

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