You May not Tallow these Candle Facts

Are Your Candles Making You Sick? - EcoWatch

During the Middle Ages, tallow, or beef fat, was used to make candles. Better than light bulbs because light bulbs don’t smell like steak.

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Candles have been used as clocks by inserting objects in the wax that fall when candles melt down to a certain point. They also make great alarm clocks if you can set one by your bed so that it sets your hair on fire at the desired wake-up time.

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Candles can sometimes create a romantic mood, although I’d question any relationship with someone that gets sexually aroused by flame.

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A Menorah holds nine candles, eight for the number of days the lantern burned in the temple in Jerusalem plus one called the “helper candle” which is symbolic of spiritual awakening plus it can help you put up wall paper.

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Catholics have a ceremony where they light candles for the dead to show that their memories are still living. No word on what they light if nobody remembers someone.

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Whales can be made into candles… just in case you’ve got a dead whale lying around and you don’t know what to do with it.

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I remember birthday cakes with candles to indicate the age of the honored person and one spank for each year with “one to grow on”. It was fun! But, if you are having a little celebration for the lady that works in accounting, I’d recommend neither of those things.

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It’s better to light a single candle than to curse the darkness. I usually do both because I need to be able to see and I want darkness to know how much it has disappointed me.

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Candles are often used as a metaphor for human life. Some of us live for only a short time before we are snuffed out. Some of us are made of whales.

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Soy candles are produced without killing a single animal; however, the truck that delivers the finished product to the stores tries to run over a few rabbits just on principle.

19 thoughts on “You May not Tallow these Candle Facts

  1. Candles are often used as a metaphor for human life.. Jesus someone finally explained this to me! I couldn’t for the life of me figure out the association between candles, witchcraft, religion, cultural ceremonies…etc! Now I get it! That’s why I’m here on WP…to learn cool shit! Thanks!

    However, if I ever write again, I’m going to elevate the consciousness of mankind and associate virtual particles as THE metaphor for human life…because, as you know, in cosmological terms, our life last no longer than a virtual particle..

    I dunno. Think anyone will “get it?”

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I used to burn the candle at both ends, but it came out the middle in buckets until I became a pail imitation of myself. I’ve been on the wagon ever since, and I still can’t stop going. Candlepower isn’t what it’s cracked up to be..

    Liked by 1 person

      1. It was the same guy who said “One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I’ll never know.” Any reader who doesn’t know who said that, hasn’t lived.

        Liked by 3 people

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