Daylight Savings Time: A Rant

US Daylight Saving Time

The worst part of daylight savings time is hearing my son complain about daylight savings time…

For those of you not in the know, daylight savings time is when we, in the United States, move our clocks forward an hour and live under the collective delusion that what was seven o’clock is now eight o’clock. And, with the daylight we save, we’ll be able to keep our country lit for three days after the Sun burns out. Supposedly, it also helps farmers because it turns out they aren’t smart enough to get up earlier when the Sun rises earlier. Mostly, it helps sell more coffee and No-Doz to a sleepy America.

It seems like the government has overstepped it’s bounds, telling us to get up an hour earlier; or, in the Fall, letting us sleep an hour later. But, they ARE the government. They could do far worse with our time-keeping. They could reduce our weekends to only a single day and move the other day to a time of the week with mandatory scaldings. They could make the year a month smaller each time, eventually allowing most of us to live to a hundred and twenty-five. There was a study to see if people would be happier if we replaced years with dog-years… but it was abandoned when they started getting lots of hate-mail from cats.

Einstein’s calculations tell us that time is not consistent. It relies on frame of reference, gravitational fields and, apparently, an act of congress. Time moves more slowly for someone traveling at great velocity than it does for someone just sitting on a couch… UNLESS it is some kind of jet-propelled couch; but, that’s absurd on the face of it. The government looked at Einstein’s theories and said, “So, time is flexible? And, we can build bombs that can destroy all life on the planet? Thanks Einstein, for that mixed blessing”.

The Senate recently passed a bill making Daylight Savings Time permanent. This means it will always be an hour later than it is. So, we’ll be saving time all year. The interest on this daylight will be compounded CONTINUOUSLY and we’ll have so much daylight that we will one day be able to share it with those who live within the Arctic Circle. No more darkness twenty-four hours a day. Think of the diplomatic ties this would bring about. No more Aleuts groping about in the dark only to come across a polar bear or a REALLY disoriented penguin. There’s only one downside:

My son… complaining… forever…

16 thoughts on “Daylight Savings Time: A Rant

  1. More bad news on time: the earth’s rotation is actually increasing. Meaning the days are actually shorter and are lives are passing by faster! Google it! I can’t make this stuff up. Of course, if you tell people they are “old” they will behave “old” and death will become a self fulfilling prophecy!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. So, the trend is suddenly reversing? You know if it slows too much they’ll put the extra day in February… the coldest, dreariest month of all…

        Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s