Why I Had a Tiger Prepare My Taxes

Welcome | Tiger Tax and Bookkeeping Service, LLC

Tigers are solitary creatures so it is unlikely he’ll be sharing my personal information with any of his friends.

Human tax preparation can charge as much as three hundred dollars; whereas, a tiger can be paid in goat carcasses.

No matter how poorly a human prepares your taxes, it is illegal to shoot them and mount their heads on the wall of your den.

A tiger moves silently and kills with deadly efficiency. A human tax-preparer might also, but you can’t count on it.

Tigers are the only member of the cat family capable of understanding sum of squares capital depreciation.

Tigers know of deductions that human preparers don’t… like tax credits for killing livestock in remote Sri Lanken villages.

Because of the possibility of attack from a tiger tax preparer, many tax-preparation firms tend to issue tranquilizer guns to their receptionists.

The urine of tigers smells like buttered popcorn so, while you are getting your taxes prepared, you can pretend you are at the movies.

A tiger has razor-sharp claws and can break a person’s neck with one swipe. This is terrifying to their customers so imagine how effective it would be during an audit.

Tigers are endangered because their habitat is being destroyed. I think, by hiring one, I can at least contribute to a loft or one-bedroom apartment habitat for it.

16 thoughts on “Why I Had a Tiger Prepare My Taxes

  1. I have a personal principle of never hiring anyone who couldn’t murder me if they so choose, so I have to say I approve of hiring a tiger to prepare your taxes! Fun fact: the IRS in Brazil is referred to as ‘the lion’. And now you have acquired some irrelevant knowledge!

    Liked by 1 person

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