Tigers are solitary creatures so it is unlikely he’ll be sharing my personal information with any of his friends.
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Human tax preparation can charge as much as three hundred dollars; whereas, a tiger can be paid in goat carcasses.
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No matter how poorly a human prepares your taxes, it is illegal to shoot them and mount their heads on the wall of your den.
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A tiger moves silently and kills with deadly efficiency. A human tax-preparer might also, but you can’t count on it.
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Tigers are the only member of the cat family capable of understanding sum of squares capital depreciation.
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Tigers know of deductions that human preparers don’t… like tax credits for killing livestock in remote Sri Lanken villages.
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Because of the possibility of attack from a tiger tax preparer, many tax-preparation firms tend to issue tranquilizer guns to their receptionists.
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The urine of tigers smells like buttered popcorn so, while you are getting your taxes prepared, you can pretend you are at the movies.
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A tiger has razor-sharp claws and can break a person’s neck with one swipe. This is terrifying to their customers so imagine how effective it would be during an audit.
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Tigers are endangered because their habitat is being destroyed. I think, by hiring one, I can at least contribute to a loft or one-bedroom apartment habitat for it.
Moral of the story? Never underestimate the economic feasibility of goat carcasses.
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They are legal tender in Tonga… although, legally, they aren’t required to be tender…
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I don’t know what’s worse- tiger tax preparers or IRS sharks. Either way I guess I’m going to get bitten.
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It’s a small price to pay for bailing out billionaires!
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Do they like to travel?
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Yes, but they don’t fit in the overhead compartment…
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Damn 😡
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You should only use tiger tax preparers named Tony. They’re grrrreat!
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You’re a monster, Mr. Grinch…
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I have a personal principle of never hiring anyone who couldn’t murder me if they so choose, so I have to say I approve of hiring a tiger to prepare your taxes! Fun fact: the IRS in Brazil is referred to as ‘the lion’. And now you have acquired some irrelevant knowledge!
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I’ll remember that, Jay!
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Thanks for humoring me! 🙂
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I might weave it into something I write…
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I’ll sure love it if you do!
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“The urine of tigers smells like buttered popcorn so…”
How you know this, I’m not sure I want to know, Charles. Now the taste…
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What kind of a nut would taste tiger urine? Definitely no one I’d admit to being…
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