More Good Things about Climate Change

Posted on by masercot

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High water temperatures mean when you catch your fish it will already be fully poached.

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If trained properly, tornadoes make good pets.

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Most of the states in favor of ignoring climate change will be cooked to a nice medium rare.

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Don’t think of current situations in the Southwest as “drought”; think of it as an “Unplanned Wasteland Surplus”…

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Without Category 6 Hurricanes, you’d never know what your home looks like underwater…

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People will stop mindlessly bleating, “It’s not the heat, it’s the humidity” when the temperature gets over 115 degrees and their eyes melt.

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Melting Arctic ice means fewer polar bears and thus more seals. Seals, if trained properly, make good tornadoes.

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Climate change will cause species of animal to go extinct but others will evolve to take their place. Maybe one of those species will be a pig with barbecue sauce for blood; but, more likely, a venomous cockroach or one of those inside-out dogs you see in the movies sometimes…

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Don’t look at climate change as making the outdoors uninhabitable. See it more as a permanent excuse not to take your kids to the park.

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As climate change intensifies, more people will become poorer and displaced. But, it will be a golden age for HVAC repairers and inside-out dogs.

17 thoughts on “More Good Things about Climate Change”

    1. In Dallas, during one of their stretches of one hundred plus degree weeks, I decided to try mind over matter and walk on the sidewalk in my bare feet. Well, matter won because, in five minutes, I was walking on blisters.

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      3. Very few homes have central air. We all use window units which are a pain in the ass. I’m seriously thinking of putting it in even though it will be expensive to retro fit.

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      6. I know folks who lack central air and replaced their window units with a heat pump – what is known as a “mini-split” (primarily made by Mitsubishi) – and are happy with them for better cooling and less noise than the window unit, and providing some heat in spring and fall when they don’t quite need the furnace.

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      7. Our house doesn’t have the proper floor plan for heat pumps. We put one in our man cave/barn and it’s great in a wide open space. But the technician said we’d need 5+ units to cool the home properly …. Central would actually be cheaper.

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