High water temperatures mean when you catch your fish it will already be fully poached.
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If trained properly, tornadoes make good pets.
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Most of the states in favor of ignoring climate change will be cooked to a nice medium rare.
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Don’t think of current situations in the Southwest as “drought”; think of it as an “Unplanned Wasteland Surplus”…
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Without Category 6 Hurricanes, you’d never know what your home looks like underwater…
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People will stop mindlessly bleating, “It’s not the heat, it’s the humidity” when the temperature gets over 115 degrees and their eyes melt.
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Melting Arctic ice means fewer polar bears and thus more seals. Seals, if trained properly, make good tornadoes.
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Climate change will cause species of animal to go extinct but others will evolve to take their place. Maybe one of those species will be a pig with barbecue sauce for blood; but, more likely, a venomous cockroach or one of those inside-out dogs you see in the movies sometimes…
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Don’t look at climate change as making the outdoors uninhabitable. See it more as a permanent excuse not to take your kids to the park.
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As climate change intensifies, more people will become poorer and displaced. But, it will be a golden age for HVAC repairers and inside-out dogs.
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
And think of all the time you’ll save in the kitchen when you can just go outside and fry your food on the sidewalk.
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In Dallas, during one of their stretches of one hundred plus degree weeks, I decided to try mind over matter and walk on the sidewalk in my bare feet. Well, matter won because, in five minutes, I was walking on blisters.
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That’s crazy. If it hits 85 up here I’m miserable… I can’t even imagine.
🔥
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I was looking at Maine homes, yesterday. So few of them have air conditioning. And, most of the houses were built in 1906…
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Very few homes have central air. We all use window units which are a pain in the ass. I’m seriously thinking of putting it in even though it will be expensive to retro fit.
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I’m looking forward to the five-part blog on that. Thanks to you, I now have a phobia about driveways…
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Only 5? I don’t know… 🤣
As for driveways, you should. That was a major undertaking.
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I know folks who lack central air and replaced their window units with a heat pump – what is known as a “mini-split” (primarily made by Mitsubishi) – and are happy with them for better cooling and less noise than the window unit, and providing some heat in spring and fall when they don’t quite need the furnace.
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Our house doesn’t have the proper floor plan for heat pumps. We put one in our man cave/barn and it’s great in a wide open space. But the technician said we’d need 5+ units to cool the home properly …. Central would actually be cheaper.
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Oh, well. I tried.
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I think it was Yogi Berra who said,”It ain’t the heat, it’s the humility”….although it might have been Donald Trump.
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Trump is devising a way to use nuclear weapons to destroy heat waves. If that doesn’t work, then bleach…
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And I always wanted to see one of those land octopuses 🐙
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If you have the dogs, I’ve got the superglue, Deb.
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No dogs here C. Just a kitty
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No superglue for YOU, then…
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🤯
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