If you want an easy way to find the lonely and friendless, just hang out at your airport’s long term parking…
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In a recent poll of men over sixteen years of age, the most common answer to the question, “What would you prefer to be crushed under?”, Scarlett Johannson is still the number one answer.
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All this whining about train derailments but no one gives a lick of praise to trains that stay on the track.
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I hit a guy in the head with a bottle of champagne. They were going to charge me with first-degree battery but my lawyer plead down to a single count of “christening with intent to cause bodily harm”…
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You people who are wise beyond your years creep the rest of us out.
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One of the best things about getting up early is you get to see the Sun rise. If the Sun goes out, you’ll be the first to know and can adjust your investments accordingly.
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My cousin was beautiful when she was younger; but, one day she knew she was getting old when she saw that she had crow’s feet… and she couldn’t remember why she bought them.
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Things really never change. When I was growing up the big meme was the “Smiley Face”; now, decades later, it’s simply a boot stamping on the face of humanity forever.
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People use the term “makin’ bacon” to indicate sex; but, with sex, all the smoking is done at the end…
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If I had a nickel for every time someone threw a cigarette butt into my front yard, that would be quite a coincidence…
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I never feel as close to someone as when I’m pressed up against them.
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
At this point in my life, I’m more than willing to return the feet to the crows…
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Why? Just Becaws…
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I once asked a crow if he looked down on human feet as much as humans look down on crow’s feet. He responded by taking off his shoes and throwing them at me.
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I found myself looking up at crow’s feet more often than I do at human feet.
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They are kind of sexy without socks…
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True love is being a zombie, but managing not to eat the brains of the one you love. (I hear they taste like oysters)
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Somehow, the brain gets eaten anyway… I’m working on a piece on cannibalism, Deb. Very topical!
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I’m reading a book zombies vs unicorns 🦄
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How is it?
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A bit wierd
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“In a recent poll of men over sixteen years of age, the most common answer to the question, “What would you prefer to be crushed under?”, Scarlett Johannson is still the number one answer.”
Fair. Probably a decent chunk of women too…
“You people who are wise beyond your years creep the rest of us out.”
Sorry. 😔
“My cousin was beautiful when she was younger; but, one day she knew she was getting old when she saw that she had crow’s feet… and she couldn’t remember why she bought them.”
Wait—we BOUGHT those?! Where can I return them???
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It’s too LATE NOW! The crow’s feet are yours. If you can get someone to say your name without you telling them… they go to the other person.
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Hmm…
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Thanks for the laughs. For some reason I haven’t seen your blog in a while. It’s good to read your “random thoughts” again.
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Thank you. I’m not publishing as much because I’m in a downward cycle, but it eventually goes back up.
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I’m sorry to hear that. Yes, hoping it “goes back up” soon.
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