[I had some kidney stones last week]
Kidney stones can come in many colors; so, if you want to pass one that matches your favorite tie, vary your diet accordingly…
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If your urine is cloudy and smells bad, you might’ve had a kidney stone. If your urine is clear and smells good, you might be a lemonade dispenser.
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If you keep your diet high in vegetables and grains and avoid meats, sugar, coffee, tea and soft drinks, you will never have another kidney stone because you’ll probably throw yourself in front of a train within two weeks.
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White men are more likely to get kidney stones… HAVEN’T WE SUFFERED ENOUGH???
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From my own experience, CAT scan technicians are not allowed to interpret the scans and tell you what they saw; but, when they see a 6 cm stone in one of your kidneys, they will cry and shake your hand.
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Good news for kidney stone sufferers: Many modern cultures consider a heavily scarred urethra to be attractive. Guam for example.
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The pain from kidney stones has been compared with labor pains; although, with labor pains you get a baby at the end. On the other hand, a kidney stone won’t drop an easy fly-ball at the championship little league game.
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I’ve found that one way to handle the pain of kidney stones is to imagine the pain as emanating from a golden box that gets smaller and smaller until it is gone. This technique is much more effective if you’ve had a big ol’ shot of morphine in the emergency room.
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I’ve also found that hot baths can alleviate the pain of kidney stones. How hot? Just hot enough to burn off the lower two-thirds of your body.
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Pregnant women also face an increased risk for developing stones due to their cardiovascular system’s increased output and their kidney’s increased filtration activity… This can cause a lot of complications, the most notable being that they will become even bigger pains in the ass…
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
I’m not sure if that one was a deliberate insult C. I think I’ll have to refer it to Terse Llama
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Last Tuesday I passed a bunch of kidney stones… thanks to the Oklahoma sun and not enough water.
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Are u feeling ok now?
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Yes. The day after is always kind of bad but at this point I’m feeling fine. How are you, Deb?
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Improving on the guitar 🎸
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You must be past ( no pun intended) the worst of it if you can joke about it. And a heavily scarred urethra? Ooh baby. You’ll be beating the women off with a stick.
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GUAMANIAN women!
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Just think of them as kidney rocks instead of stones….
Because when kidneys rock, you can roll with the groans.
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And, the angels in heaven will hear my moans…
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Kidney stones: More painful than writing.
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Only a little bit more painful…
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Stay hydrated my man.
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I had 5 kids and 1 kidney stone. The kidney stone was a 9/10 on the pain scale. My kids were a 7, and my broken hip was a 6.
I had a quarter-sized kidney stone, so I cannot imagine a 6 cm! OWIE!
And you learn that the only time the stone hurts is when it moves.
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My urologist told me that: “The pain is good because it means the stone is moving”
I replied, “The pain is bad because it hurts a lot. Please give me drugs”…
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I’ve had issues with kidney stones a few times. While they can cause pain, that pain is nothing compared to child birth. I’m sorry you had to experience them—did you get the large one surgically removed?
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It took six surgeries to get rid of the big one. During the final surgery, the urologist said that he had a little cup full of broken stones.
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Oof!!
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