Random Depressing Thoughts

Posted on by masercot

The only thing worse than being laughed at during sex is being laughed at instead of sex.

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If I feel I’m not up to a task, I’ll break it into smaller tasks and then explain why I can’t do each of those.

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I fear that, when I finally manage to start my own business, people won’t be buying halberds anymore.

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When I’m confronted with a seemingly impossible task, I step back from it, take a deep breath, let it out slowly and then go home sick.

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I resolve to alleviate my fear of dying alone by making sure I don’t ever die.

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I don’t mind failing at something as long as no one notices and gives me a cruel nickname like “Captain Failure” or “Failie McFail” or “Fail Dunaway”. I don’t mind “Dr. Fail” because that implies I have a PhD.

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I fear that, when I finally show people the real me, they will demand the fake me back.

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Chin up!  Yes, the future is cold and bleak and pointless but that hasn’t kept anyone from moving to Minnesota.

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I’ve disappointed nearly everyone I’ve ever loved but I’m going to make it up to them: With free halberds!

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I don’t dread growing old because it is like drinking a fine aged wine: The kind that makes you angry for no reason, messes with your memory and makes you fall down a lot.

13 thoughts on “Random Depressing Thoughts”

      4. Did I tell you in my current tale I have two young rats, Dwyane and Bean Sprout (named after the great Bean Sprout famine) kidnapped by a tortoise in a hot air balloon 🎈

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  3. Sorry to disappoint you, but growing old is NOT like drinking fine aged wine. I’d tell you what it’s really like, but today I celebrated my 87th birthday, and after I finish drinking my 87th bottle of beer, I’m going to try to stagger off to bed, grateful that it’s not my 88th birthday.

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