I’m thankful for sex education because, without it, the girls I dated in high school and college wouldn’t have been able to tell me what I was doing wrong.
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I’m thankful for pork because, if we didn’t eat it, with all the pigs we kill, we’d come off looking like a bunch of sadists.
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I’m thankful for the Farmer Says toy because I always suspected that the cow says “moo” but now I have CONFIRMATION.
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I’m thankful for 1930’s gangster movies because they gave me ten more slang terms for a gun and fifty more for a woman’s legs.
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I’m thankful for Sharpies, the preferred medium for drawing penises on a sleeping friend’s forehead.
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I’m thankful for my strong and expressive hands, without which I’d be playing the piano with bloody stumps.
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I’m thankful for periods and commas because, without them, we’d all have to talk like auctioneers.
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I’m thankful for knowing-winks… if… you… KNOW what I mean…
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I’m thankful for burn wards: The ultimate test for stand up comics.
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I’m thankful for well-constructed sentences because had onto.
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
Yep, commas have their place eg … let’s eat Timmy. Let’s eat, Timmy. 😊
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The Panda eats, shoots and leaves. OR The Panda eats shoots and leaves…
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And the lesson learnt here, is never leave your panda with a bow and arrow … or a grenade
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Never leave your panda with your favorite leaves…
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Ah, the Sharpie. Keg parties wouldn’t be nearly as much fun without them.
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I wouldn’t know… I’m a light sleeper.
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I am thankful for masercot
For all the funny tommyrot
He posts that makes my day….
But what it makes it, I won’t say.
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Q. What do you call watching a musical with Loren Boebert?
A. A production with TWO happy endings.
I’m here all week. Try the veal.
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Just the thought of her makes me very FOR-LOREN. 😥
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