Great Big Hippo Facts

Hippos are the third largest land mammals. Zoologists think they’d be second if they just “tried a little harder”…

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There are two living species of hippo. The common hippo and the pygmy hippopotamus. Zoologists originally thought there was only one species until they realized the pygmy hippo wasn’t a far-away common hippo.

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Hippopotamus forage and graze after dark. This is to keep the animal out of the sunlight and not because, when it gets depressed, it eats three boxes of Girl Scout cookies and cries for hours…

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A hippo can live for forty years; or, if that’s not an option, two twenty year life spans.

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Consider a hippo’s open mouth as a threat display unless a dental hygienist is nearby.

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Common hippos live in sub-Saharan Africa; uncommon hippos also live in sub-Saharan Africa but they can also pole vault.

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A group of hippos is called a “bloat”. A group of bloated hippos is called a “midol”

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Hippos are the deadliest land mammal killing up to 500 people in a year; and, because their jaws open one hundred and fifty degrees, it is the closest thing in nature to being eaten by Pac-Man.

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Hippos can’t swim. They walk underwater like in cartoons. When they see a fish swim by, they suddenly realize they are underwater and panic. What is a panicky hippopotamus like? Pac-Man.

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Hippos can sleep under water… just like my uncle did once… only without the big funeral afterwards…