When are Tattoos a Good Thing?

You are a man who has almost everything and you’d like to add hepatitis to that.

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When you want to get over the stupid choice you made marrying your ex by permanently adding the Chinese symbol for “gravel” to the small of your back.

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When you need to distract your immune system while cancer sneaks in.

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When you want to be disqualified for a position for something besides your inexperience and lack of ability.

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When you feel your liver is just “phoning it in” and you want to give it a REAL workout.

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When you want to look at something every day that empowers you and reminds you that some things are forever… like Pauly Shore.

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When you want to work for a side-show and you can’t juggle plates or bend iron bars around your neck.

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When you want that certain something that whispers to the rest of the world, “I work in the porn industry”

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When you want to prove how drunk you are and your buddy already ate the worm out of the mescal bottle.

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When it is of the utmost importance to show the world the significant and powerful influence Tweety-Bird has had on your life.

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When you want the endorphins that come from extreme pain and you don’t have any friends who’ll agree to knock out one of your teeth.