No more workman’s compensation. If a worm is injured, it simply grows that half of its body back.
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The worm is one of the simplest animals whose mouth and anus are not the same hole. Frankly, I think this accomplishment should be rewarded with gainful employment.
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If you need to cut back on employees, you can always take all your middle managers “fishing”…
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Unlike most employees who tend to lose focus and go outside on a nice day, worms stay indoors to keep from being eaten by blue jays.
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Team building can be as easy as a trip to the graveyard.
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It’s a snap to get a bunch of worms to respect your authority… just walk in on the first day and step on the alpha-worm.
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Unlike humans, worms can be tied together to form a makeshift rope ladder in case of a sudden fire.
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If people hear that you are hiring worms for office jobs, they might decide to impersonate a worm. The best way to figure that out is to check the resume. Under hobbies, does he list “burrowing into soft Earth to eat organic matter”? No? Then, it probably isn’t a worm…
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Shakespeare once wrote, “We fat all creatures to fat ourselves and we fat ourselves for worms”… Just in case one of the worms is having a birthday and you need something cool to write on its card.
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An all-worm staff might not be more efficient; but, if you get to the point where nobody likes you and everybody hates you, at least you’ll have something to eat…
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
And think of the money you’ll save on birdseed.
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FINALLY! Someone who “gets” me…
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I’m not sure if that’s a compliment…
🥴
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It is not.
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You do have to be careful though about worm workers. No doubt, you’ve heard about the worm who pretended to be a good worker, but then suddenly went postal. Yes, the worm turned.
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I have to give you credit for the effort involved, Jack. How ’bout a worse one?
Careful getting into a vehicle with several worms writhing around in the back seat. I was arrested getting into one because it turned out to be a bait car…
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Keep them inside after a rain, lest Calvin show up to go wormucking.
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No Calvin. We’re quite happy with the Fahrenheit scale…
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And how much do you weigh in Fahrenheit? Or is that too personal?
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I use the Rankine scale so I always know when I’m getting near being an absolute zero…
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