Historians mostly agree that the drink, coffee, has been here since 800 A.D. And, that coffee is probably cold by now.
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According to a Harvard study, coffee drinkers, on average, live longer than non-coffee drinkers. But, since coffee drinkers are so wired, their longer life spans seem a lot shorter.
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People call coffee a drug, but I think it is unfair to compare it to meth or heroin. If a meth addict runs out, all his energy is expended to get more of the substance. If a coffee drinker runs out of coffee, he simply does without and drives off a bridge after falling asleep on his morning commute.
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You can reduce the risk of alcohol-induced cirrhosis by drinking coffee… which is the main reason most of us drink it.
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Mixing sperm and coffee in a test tube makes the sperms swim better, according to a study at the Institute of What-the-Flaming-Hell?.
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Instant coffee was invented in 1917. It was marketed to people who liked coffee but wanted the beverage to be more joyless.
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Coffee is the second-largest traded commodity after crude oil. Would we invade a sovereign nation just to maintain our supply of coffee? I think we’d insist on it.
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Kopi luwak is coffee that has passed through the digestive tract of a civet cat. My first impulse is to ask, “Who in the world consumes anything that has passed through another animals colon?”… then, I remember that weekend in 1982 when my dog ate an ounce of weed that I’d left on the bed.
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You can overdose on coffee if you drink fifty or more cups… although you are more likely to be killed by someone for monopolizing the bathroom…
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Maxwell House’s slogan is “Good to the Last Drop”… way better than their old slogan: “Everyone Dies Eventually”…
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
Not being a coffee drinker I feel unqualified to comment. But I like coffee ice cream and Kahlua, does that count?
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Usually, ice cream and coffee liquor are gateway drugs to outright coffee. You must be made of sterner stuff…
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I prefer tea. And have honestly never felt tempted by the devil’s brew… filtered through a wild feline’s intestines or no.
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Try feeding beans to His Lordship. Maybe then…
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You have no idea how much I look forward to your posts!!! Thanks for defining sanity!
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If you knew the mental illness that runs through my family, you’d understand how ironic your statement is, Rebecca…
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Contrast brings clarity.
I’m partial to gallows humor…it proves I’m not dead yet.
My favorite comics take the inane and make it insane…like coffee.
I picture one of the scientists from the WTFH Institute explaining why he has coffee in the bathroom before he sleeps with his wife… Then wonders why he’s done so quickly. “Swim ya little buggers!”
Or the birthday party. How many candles Bob? “57,” he says shaking uncontrollably, “but in coffee years, it’s 92!”
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You get me! You really get me!
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Now you have me wondering if WW3 will happen over coffee! Oh, shit, I better leave Brazil before that happens, we’re screwed.
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Brazil would definitely be the first or second target. Caffeine is a powerful motivator….
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In more ways than one, apparently!
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