More Dating Advice for Men and Women

Guys: A good rule of thumb is to spend one hour’s salary for every inch of cleavage your date’s outfit shows. If you live in Europe, that’s twenty-four minutes salary for each centimeter…

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Women: If you plan on breaking up with a man but don’t think you can go through with it, give him a couple of Oreos. Because, it is easier to cut emotional ties with someone when their mouth looks like a pulverized piano keyboard.

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Guys: If you ask a woman out, the implication is that you will pay for the date; on the other hand, if the woman asks you out, the implication is that you will pay for the date…

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Women: Ten minutes into his story about zip-lining in Costa Rica, it is permissible to punch your date in the balls. Twenty minutes in, the punch becomes mandatory.

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Guys: Don’t go to a child-themed restaurant on your first date because, when she tells you her job is Tik-Tok influencer, you won’t trample any toddlers on your mad dash to your car.

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Women: Let the guy choose the movie. There’ll be plenty of opportunities to see “chick flicks” after you’ve crushed his spirit…

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Guys: Don’t call or text the next day or you might come off as “needy” or “creepy”… she’ll need those adjectives when you invariably start stalking her.

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Women: Some men think all women are sadistic monsters… it’s okay… date them, get to know them, learn their phobias and slowly torture them to madness.

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Guys: Keep in mind that dating is but the first step in a life-long labor of finding common ground with someone who, by very design, thinks differently than you, communicates differently than you and even has totally different goals. It is a lifetime of frustration, doubt and confusion that will make you regret being born with genitals. So… try to have fun with it…

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Women: Don’t worry… you can change him…