The god you worship, Kornac the All-Powerful and Unkillable, has decided to back the other side for his own safety.
♣
You learn that any triumph can be nullified by the combination of a soccer field and baseball-sized hail.
♣
Your coal mine canaries start glowing in the dark.
♣
You have a feeling of quiet optimism, the same feeling you experienced when you bought all that Haliburton stock.
♣
It’s going pretty badly when you notice your friends frantically trying to invent time machines so they can avoid ever meeting you.
♣
When she climaxes, she yells out her ex’s name… partly due to habit and partly due to the fact that he’s behind you with a hatchet…
♣
The vultures flying in circles above you have vultures circling above them…
♣
Your team fails to score a touchdown fifteen minutes after the opposite team laughed and wandered off.
♣
The ship you were on is heading towards the horizon, leaving you in open shark-infested waters with a large deep wound on your thigh. Also, you thoughtlessly filled your pockets with Barracuda Chow just before you fell off the ship.
♣
You know you’re doing badly when the airplane you’re flying won’t turn the autopilot off because it just doesn’t trust you.
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
Glowing canaries – I figure that’s a good sign: 1) they’re still alive; 2) I can blow out my carbon arc light and decrease the chance of an explosion. And if my co-workers start glowing, better yet!
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On the bright side, those glowing canaries make great night lights.
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How about this one – true story, happened Monday!
Your gynecologist gives you the paper with your report and twice you are referred to as “he.”
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Haven’t heard from you in a while…
Maybe the woman was referred to as “he” before she undressed. Maybe the doctor didn’t want to force any gender roles on his patient…
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Nope, this was after the exam, and I have never been mistaken for a “he” in my life. There was, however, a lot of technology being used in the office. Maybe AI isn’t as “I” as they’d like us to believe. 😏
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I’ve been mistaken for a she, a homeless guy and a fellow Native American at work. Better than Jim Bob Walton, I guess…
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