Products for Dogs Made by People Who Hate Dogs

Vegetarian dog food: There may not be a special place in Hell for people who put their dogs on a vegetarian diet; but, as soon as the building permits are approved, work will begin on it. Muzzle: If you cannot control the pointy end of your dog, you probably should get a different breed. A […]

Money-making Ideas for the Twenty-first Century

Pet Watching Service for After the Rapture: When the heavens open up and take God’s chosen, who’ll watch their dogs and cats? Well, since I am NOT a Christian and will sign a document declaring that I will NEVER be “saved”, I am the perfect heathen to check in on the pets of the extremely […]

My Friend Went to Italy and All I Got was this Dumb Postcard. A Rant

There are two items that mark my cubicle as occupied: My travel Buddha and a postcard a friend of mine brought back from her trip to Italy. Usually, I mark my territory with a lot more than this, but contractors in this particular government building get moved around a lot. I’m lucky to be in […]

Lies I’ve Told to Get Sex

I agree. Avril Lavigne is a genius. There’s nothing I like better than a weekend of white-water rafting. You did your Master’s thesis on Jane Eyre? How interesting! If anything, those jeans make your butt look smaller. My chief concern is that I will fall in love with you. Why would I want to listen […]

Medicine Eighty Years Ago

Alcoholism: The doctor would take the patient aside, put out his cigarette and scream at the patient, “STOP DRINKING, you homo! Or, are you too much of a homo to stop drinking?”. Note that, since homosexuality was considered a disease, the term “homo” was clinical. Note also that emasculation and homophobia were usually taught concurrently […]