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- They will be forced to keep Dennis Rodman
- North Korea will be limited to arresting and torturing no more than six westerners a year.
- North Korean Ambassador can only address UN while not wearing pants.
- Any world power caught dealing financially with North Korea will be condemned in a private ceremony held in an undisclosed location.
- Any cultural exports by North Korea must be balanced by their importation of DVDs of The Beverly Hillbillies television series.
- Any footage of North Korean military parades shown in the west must be accompanied by Afroman’s Because I Got High as a soundtrack.
- North Korea’s official name will be changed from “Democratic People’s Republic of Korea” to “Stumpy and Friends”.
- Construction will begin in the DMZ on affordable housing for Sri Lankans…
- Any act of a nuclear power dealing nuclear technology to North Korea will still be cheerfully ignored.
- Any North Koreans who manage to escape that country will be given a hundred thousand dollars, a commemorative t-shirt and a lifetime supply of Hormel products…
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