Thoughts on Canadian Foods

Poutine: French fries, cheese curds, gravy… kind of like that random list of words that Donald Trump had to memorize to prove he didn’t have dementia. Ever been to a McDonalds, bought some fries and thought to yourself, “this would be a lot better with some cottage cheese on it” Tourtiere: In most countries, when […]

How to Tell if Your Species is About to Become Extinct

You can’t live inside walls, under sinks, or get inside a dumpster… You have an innate need to cross six-lane highways. An apex-predator has been introduced into your ecosystem and, besides eating apexes, it also eats everything that you eat plus you and your friends. A real estate agent says, “And, this is where the […]

Stuff We Learned from the Debate

Thanks to president Trump, insulin is cheaper than water… now that water is a thousand dollars a liter. We learned that his being an obnoxious jackass doesn’t end at seven o’clock at night. We learned that he doesn’t SUPPORT Nazis; but, he does tell them what to do. We learned that Biden’s son had a […]

Stuff I’m Proud of

I’m proud that I still don’t know if Wilson Philips is a man, a woman or a group of people. I’m proud that the only body modification I’ve ever had done was falling face forward into a coffee table. I’m proud that I’ve never lied during sex. I’m proud that I’ve never taken money to […]

Why I Should be the One to Own Thor’s Hammer

With Thor’s hammer, he can create and direct the lightning. If I could make lightning do what I want, I’d imagine wind and sleet would knuckle under pretty quickly. “Only he who is worthy can wield the hammer of Thor”. So, if I had the hammer, I’d be “worthy” which would go a long way […]