Theme Restaurants for the Twenty-first Century

The Thing You Ate from Outer Space: Patrons eat freeze-dried MRIs and drink water processed from the urine of the people before them. Restrooms are adult diapers… Darwin’s Diner: Weapons are handed to each customer, the doors are locked, lights are turned out. The winner gets to eat the losers… Cold War Cafeteria: […]

Pickup Lines that have Always Failed Me

I’d like to do a tarot reading for you but I’ll need a drop of your blood or saliva. . Wanna come back to my place and listen to Devo while I teach you how to buy real estate with no money down? . I’ve never told anyone this, but I poisoned a horse once. […]

Let Chaos Reign!!!

Chaos is from the Greek entity, “Kaos”, something which was not a god, but existed before time. Along with Kaos were Lux (light), Nox (night or darkness) and Sly (Sylvester Stallone). It refers to a time when, as the Bible would say, “…the earth was without form…”. Note that I only used five consequetive words […]

More Random but Very Valid Thoughts

If I ever write a song about a woman, I don’t think I’ll mention her eyes because, if she had an accident and her eyes got burned out or dissolved by acid, I’d just have to write a new song. It’s hard to say which is worse: A stomach flu or a tidal wave. On […]

What’s Wrong with Blondes? This:

From what I’ve read, if you pay a blonde to paint your porch, she will paint your sports car, instead… . Blondes remind me of Edgar Winter Group which reminds me of the albino I kept in my basement as a child. He taught me philosophy, French and logic as the two of us worked […]