The Only Good Reasons to Own Snakes

No one pays attention to your tattoos and piercings any more. Sometimes you just need the love, affection and caring that can only come from a cold-blooded reptile with a brain the size of a watch battery. You live in a trailer-park in Florida and just want to fit in. Escaped boas and pythons breeding […]

Guaranteed Effective Sanctions Against North Korea

They will be forced to keep Dennis Rodman North Korea will be limited to arresting and torturing no more than six westerners a year. North Korean Ambassador can only address UN while not wearing pants. Any world power caught dealing financially with North Korea will be condemned in a private ceremony held in an undisclosed […]

The Pope Went to Chile and All We Got Was this Lousy Bishop

The Pope recently went to Chile. Normally, when a public figure goes to Chile, it is either because Uruguay is full, or because they’ve already visited every other nation in the world; however, in this case, the Pope had a reason for visiting Chile: He wanted to apologize. Now, you may ask, “What is a […]

Products for Dogs Made by People Who Hate Dogs

Vegetarian dog food: There may not be a special place in Hell for people who put their dogs on a vegetarian diet; but, as soon as the building permits are approved, work will begin on it. Muzzle: If you cannot control the pointy end of your dog, you probably should get a different breed. A […]

Money-making Ideas for the Twenty-first Century

Pet Watching Service for After the Rapture: When the heavens open up and take God’s chosen, who’ll watch their dogs and cats? Well, since I am NOT a Christian and will sign a document declaring that I will NEVER be “saved”, I am the perfect heathen to check in on the pets of the extremely […]