Pickup Lines that have Always Failed Me

Our friend alcohol will make this woman forget that she’s talking to a balding hunchback…

I’d like to do a tarot reading for you but I’ll need a drop of your blood or saliva.

Wanna come back to my place and listen to Devo while I teach you how to buy real estate with no money down?

I’ve never told anyone this, but I poisoned a horse once.

You know… my penis length is well within the range of what is considered average…

Mmm… I’d like to clone you and then combine the two of you to make one gigantic version of you.

I’ve eaten squirrel once and probably will again.

You don’t look anything like my mother, but I’ve got wigs and nightgowns back at my place…

Back in my day, a tramp stamp was something you did to hobos to keep them out of your town…

Can I take you back to my apartment to find out if I’m still gay?

Wanna see my impersonation of a Chinese guy?

4 thoughts on “Pickup Lines that have Always Failed Me

    1. I’ve always been shy but never found a way to make it work for me. I do get fewer colds and flus, though… so, I’ve got that going for me, which is nice…


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