Advice My Grandpappy Gave Me Part 2

Women are not all vengeful harpies out to drain your life-essence and leave you a broken defeated shell… not all of them… theoretically… Never spend more than you can afford. “What you can afford” is equal to your take home salary plus whatever credit is left on your cards plus the card limits of credit […]

Ask a Super-intelligent Bio-engineered Dog

[After seeing the popularity of Dear Prudence, Dear Abby, Dear Meg and Ask Amy, I had to ask myself, “Is writing a fake advice column for me?”. Not having anything else written for today, the answer came back, “Yeah, why not?”] Dear Super-intelligent Bio-engineered Dog, I’m currently in a long-distance relationship and I’m worried that […]

Tips to Quit Smoking

Assure yourself that you CAN quit, as you have done it so many times before. Quitting smoking can be stressful. There are many ways to alleviate this stress, but the most effective method is to start smoking again. Sometimes, quitting smoking is just a matter of changing habits. Do you smoke on your way […]

All Quiet on the Random Thoughts

Sun Tzu said, “When you forces are strong, appear weak; and, when your forces are weak, appear strong”. That’s why, whenever I walk into a bar full of tough guys, I always make it a point to knock out the smallest, weakest man in the room. Just in case they all have knowledge of […]

Let Me Allay Your Fears…

You shouldn’t worry about dying young because, frankly, you AREN’T that young anymore. You are NOT being followed. They know your schedule so well, they are already waiting for you at your destination. You think that your frustrating day at work is a symptom of failing memory due to age; but, nothing could be further […]