The Uncountable Grains of Sand

 

[This is a response to a challenge by Raynotbradbury to expound on the uncountable grains of sand. I’m making it today’s post so that I can disappoint TWO groups of people at the same time]

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Some think that the grains of sand cannot be counted, but those people are quitters. We need to count every grain of sand on the planet. Why?  Because…

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We will eventually gather all the knowledge that there is; then, someone will notice that we don’t know how many grains of sand there are and THEN someone will have to count them. Why wait until the last minute?

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It may be our only chance to use the number “gazillion”.

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To effectively count them, every grain of sand will have to have a unique marking after being counted. If we number them, then all the sand on Earth is a limited edition and collectors will come here from all over the universe to buy our sand.

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If we don’t count every grain of sand and then someone tells us that we need to move half of it, how will we know when we’re done?

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If we melt all of the sand into glass without counting it and keep all of the glass together in a big mass, it will count as just one grain.

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If we count every grain of sand, we can finally be sure that Bermuda isn’t hogging more than their fair share.

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Finally! Paid work for people with Associate’s Degrees.

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If we count and number every grain of sand and you track some into your living room, you’ll know where to return it to…

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The nations of the world would have to work together to achieve this. They would have to invent special technology and train robots. When the work is finally done, everyone on the planet will be as brothers; then, we will start bombing the other nations to get their technology and robots.

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If we count every grain of sand on Earth then, if anyone tries to horde it, we’ll know.

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15 thoughts on “The Uncountable Grains of Sand

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