I want one of those calves that is born with two heads because I already bought the two little hats.
I want to have a lesbian relationship. I know that I’m a guy, but I think it would help me to relate… plus, I get tired of always being the one to open the pickle jars.
I want to hunt the homeless for sport… not to hurt them but to kill them with KINDNESS. After we get them out of the nets, of course.
I want a pet ladybug because there are a lot of aphids hanging around out in the parking lot and I don’t like the looks of them…
I just want ONE posthumously-published book of poems signed by the author.
I want to meet the girl of my dreams… the dream about the sweet pretty girl, not the one where the girl pulls her face off and throws it at me.
I want a glow-in-the-dark catheter.
I want that satisfied feeling that one gets after a good hard days work but I’d like to get it after a day of sitting in front of the television in my underwear.
I want all those things that money just can’t buy; and, I’ll pay double for them.
I want to live like there’s no tomorrow and live tomorrow like I really overreacted the previous day…