Cold-Blooded Facts about Monitor Lizards

Asian Water Monitor 101: Care, Size, Lifespan & More!

Monitor lizards stand on their hind legs to look out for predators. Herpetologists agree that this is why, of all reptiles, the monitor lizard is the best at basketball.

Most monitor lizards have a poisonous saliva developed from generations of eating Thai food.

Monitor lizards are excellent swimmers but they are only mediocre sword fighters and terrible after dinner speakers.

Monitor lizards, unlike most other lizards, cannot regenerate their tails if they lose them; they simply have their trousers altered.

Some species of monitor lizard can live to be thirty years old… so, if you get one elected to the U. S. Senate, encourage it to push its agenda as strongly as possible in its first year.

Monitor lizards are the smartest lizards in the animal kingdom, but how far can they coast on that?

The largest lizard is the Komodo Dragon, a species of monitor lizard. They live on the island of Komodo. Herpetologists do NOT think this is a coincidence…

Male monitor lizards often have to fight other males to mate with a female; then, they often have to fight the female to mate with her. It seems counter-productive, but, if a monitor lizard was trying to mate with you, you’d have serious reservations too, I’ll bet.

Monitor lizards have around ten offspring per clutch of eggs: One firstborn, one youngest and eight disappointing middle children who’ll never amount to anything.

Scientists agree that, of all reptiles, the monitor lizard looks the most like Jeff Goldblum.

12 thoughts on “Cold-Blooded Facts about Monitor Lizards

    1. I worked for a woman whose brother raised one when they were teenagers. Her dog walked into the backyard, one day, and the monitor chased it down and killed it.

      But, a kangaroo? That’s impressive!

      Like

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