You startled me while I was making French toast.
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Your eyeballs looked kind of bland.
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From certain angles, you look like raisin bread.
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I wanted to give you the greatest gift of all: The gift… of blindness.
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I hear that, if you lose one sense, the others become stronger and I really wanted you to enjoy the sweet rolls I’d made.
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As your best friend, it is my job to make sure your head tastes as good as it possibly can.
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I thought that if I sprinkled it on you, you’d be able to fly. So, either you were holding out on me; or, Peter Pan was LYING.
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I never knew you before you were born, so seeing you on the kitchen floor in a fetal position and crying indicated to me what that might’ve looked like. You were PRECIOUS!
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I am unstable and a danger to society.
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We need you to infiltrate a band of terrorists disguised as a stick of Dentyne…
Potatoes and the Promise of More Potatoes 
After a year of Covid lock down and 5 months of knee injury non activity… I resemble nothing more than a loaf of bread. But in my case it’s more a round sourdough, no cinnamon required.
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Cinnamon is ALWAYS required…
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So you say.
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So let it be written,
So let it be done!
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“You were PRECIOUS” made me laugh out loud. Funny list!
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It was one of those “title first” lists. Sometimes they work and sometimes they don’t…
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