Why We NEED to Find Life on Other Planets

The Alien Movie Saga Finally Explained

We will be able to learn a lot from their ancient civilization and they might also be delicious.

We need someone to blame our economy on.

If I piss off everyone here on Earth, I’ll need a couch to sleep on…

Sigourney Weaver needs the exercise.

We could invite them to join the Confederacy of Planets; and, by the time they’ve learned our language and looked up what the “Confederacy” was, most of them will already be in chains picking our tomatoes.

It would show that we aren’t alone in the universe, which is good because we here on Earth are really getting on each other’s nerves.

We might finally find a living creature who can eat scrapple.

If they are tall, very strong and blue, we could breed with them to produce offspring that, if they aren’t tall and strong, will at least be a lot easier to spot in a crowd at the mall.

We could teach them the history of mankind, carefully omitting what we tend to do to indigenous natives.

If we tell them that our plastic waste and disposable diapers are our currency, they might let us dump them on their planet.

If they are underwater life forms, meeting them will be as simple as finding out what they eat and putting it on a hook.

8 thoughts on “Why We NEED to Find Life on Other Planets

  1. I just put this on my FB timeline: “I’m rewriting the Bible. What’s my first line?” If I get a lot of hate posts, I’ll remove. LOL!.
    My first line might be something like: You are here. That is the beginning.

    Liked by 1 person

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