Random Thoughts, Part Infinity

Norway | Geography & Maps | Goway Travel

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. I hear it was the best of times again right after that, but I was in the shower and missed it.

Horses have no hands. But, their heights are measured in “hands”. This means that no horse knows exactly how tall he is.

My lucky number is infinity, which is pretty cool; but, it doesn’t do me any good at the roulette table.

When we were children, my mother always wanted us outside. We were outside so much that, when my school asked me my address, I told them “the front yard”.

I don’t judge a man by height but by his deeds… deeds like winning at basketball and reaching things on the high shelf…

A prisoner was about to be executed in a furnace. He asked the executioner how hot it was. The executioner replied, “It’s six hundred degrees Fahrenheit or three hundred degrees Celsius”

The condemned said, “I’ll take the Celsius, please”

My only quirk is that I don’t believe in Norway. It just sounds like something that someone might have made up.

The tiny acorn eventually becomes the mighty oak. Many years after that, the mighty oak pees when he sneezes and breaks a hip showing his grandkids a cartwheel.

I went to a restaurant with a friend of mine. About halfway through, I realized I didn’t have enough money so I crawled out the bathroom window and left him there. Boy was he mad! But, we’re okay now because I promised to take him out for an expensive lunch. He isn’t very smart….

Mother’s Day is a sham. Why celebrate someone who was only nice to you because, if she wasn’t, she would’ve been arrested?

11 thoughts on “Random Thoughts, Part Infinity

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